Get back to Family. They have your back
Stories of Role Models
My family is my support. The love was always there but it took some effort and adjustment on my part to make it into a support system. I share this story today.
I had space to dream and breathe when I was young. My father - who hailed from Jodhpur - made his way to the gulf for greener pastures, leaving a joint family behind. We stayed in touch.
Weekends meant Fridays chutti and meals by Dad. I loved it for the inventive food he would make. From ‘chana’ pizzas to homemade falafels.
Dad would take over to give mom a rest. Fridays meant zero work for her. He taught us in action, about equality at home – long before I understood the word.
After 12th, I wanted to become a pilot and found myself an admission in South Africa. Dad was ok with it, mom a bit apprehensive, perhaps about my safety.
We came to Jodhpur in the summer. Bade Papa was the head of the joint family. He heard about my pilot ambitions and expressed concern. ‘What if you break your limbs while flying? What will we do?’ My mom also quickly changed lanes and joined the concern chaos.
Teenager me, rebelled in passive aggression. The last thing I wanted to be was an engineer, so I announced, ‘I will then be an Engineer’. That sealed my fate for the next four years that I spent in a Jaipur engineering college.
By 2nd semester, the only electronics I had learnt was that I was the resistor in the class. The campus had a school of communication, and I was more often to be found there. I found passion in organising and anchoring events.
Studies continued. I finished Electronics in first division and campus interviews even got me a placement in a multinational IT company. Of course, I did not take it up.
In hindsight, I could have dug deeper. There are so many non-IT roles possible today, even in IT. Think - tech writing, community building, pre-sales, sales, customer service. I ruled them all out for me, without exploring. Bad move? maybe!
I took a break year instead. I was back in Dubai with my parents. An ever supportive family, they asked no questions. I learned Spanish. I taught English. Then I thought, maybe I will enjoy Management more.
Engineering classmates were already comparing salaries and showing off onsite assignments. I felt the FOMO. I had to do something.
I enrolled in evening MBA classes and found a day job as an executive assistant. Two years flew by.
I was still exploring what I wanted to do with myself. In quick succession - I tried my hand at events management; founded a CSR initiative; then joined up as a management intern.
The intern role required me to create and document HR policies. This was my first professional stint with technical writing. I wanted to do more of it.
Next step - look for a writing job!
Family had given me the space I needed to explore things, but I wanted some more.
I knew I had to fly away from the nest if I was ever going to live an independent life. I decided to move back to India and be on my own.
My father found it very hard to understand. He had moved to Dubai, struggled to create a life here for us, and I wanted to go back.
He is a good listener. I explained my desire to make my own journey. He understood.
I made my way to Bangalore. I had friends here, but it was a new city for me. I found a job with TCS as a content writer. Happiness ahead.
I had found my passion, and I had connected with myself - now it was time to connect with loved ones all over again. Come back full circle.
All hail Whatsapp! I was able to be in touch with my parents every day. A video call with my dad every Friday at 5 PM kept them satisfied, and me sane!
My Bade Papa was the happiest when I finished engineering. I began to stay in touch with him, on my career milestones. He is so proud of me; it motivates me to do even better.
Nalini, my aunt, became my confidante; recently she switched cities and careers and I was her unofficial career counsellor and language guide! She wanted to learn English from me and I wanted to learn Kathak from her. Let’s just say that she is a better student than me.
During the Covid lockdown, I was terrified for my parents because they were far away. Each day, we would exchange texts about what was happening in India and the UAE.
Once a week we played Ludo online; those were some fun times when Dad tried to slyly cheat :P
These small things, this conscious reaching out, built me a strong support system. I cannot forget their support when I lost my job in May ’20.
My dad simply said, “Now is your time to upskill. Market changes keep happening, but what will define you is how you used this time.” That support prompted me to work on some projects, take up an internship with Bright Network and eventually my current job.
I work as a senior proposals writer for Cisco today.
My insights -
It is crucial for young people to leave the comfort zone of their homes and venture out to become themselves. At the same time, keep communicating with family.
Speaking with them often or just talking about your new world will keep them in loop and they won’t feel very distant from you.
Share some emergency contact numbers with them in case they can’t reach you; it is crucial!
Not everyone has a supportive and empathetic family, but if you have even one person who understands you, don’t take them for granted. Be communicative of your feelings and plans so that they can rally behind you.
Even though you are young, be the patient one to explain things when they don’t understand.
I know I can do anything I wish because I have the backing of my family; such is the power of their support system.