I touch others with the sound of my silence

Stories of Role Models

What happens when you are confronted with your own mortality?

In 1997, I found out. I had cancer. 

The stage-4 tumour on my trachea needed to be removed urgently. 

I was a businessman in Ahmedabad and often travelled internationally. I was the sole bread-winner for our family. My working day was spent talking, to make deals. Talking.

I might live. I might not live after that. I did not know. I knew for sure, the tumor removal would take away my voice. 

I decided not to waste any time, worrying and delaying. 

I checked into the hospital the next day. Dr. Patel operated on me. 

From here on, I would be on mute. This much was certain. Would I fall silent?

Three months later, I was back in business. Two things had changed.

1. I had a sense of urgency. Life was to be lived, not wasted. 

2. Life was not about just me anymore. I had to help others, who needed help.

An electronic voice box, held externally against my vocal chords, could help me speak in a mechanical voice. I embraced it. 

I had decided I would not fall silent. Not my voice. Not my actions.

Thus began my 2nd innings.

There were many days when I felt shunned because of how I sounded. 

I learnt to accept myself as I was. With that, I became like a surfer who rides on top of difficult waves.

I had the blessings of both my parents. The gift of courage came from my father. From my mother, the ability to speak from my heart. 

I became a motivational speaker, sharing my story to help others do better with themselves.

"If I can overcome my adversity, so can you!", I would say, as I silently breathed courage around me.

More than that, I found joy in connecting cancer newbies to support and sometimes critical care.

A lady in Calcutta saw my story on Facebook, soon after she was diagnosed with Cancer. She reached out to me and we chatted. 

She did not know what to do next as her baby was due in 3 months. 

I reached out on her behalf and made a few calls, even though I lived across the country and did not know anyone in Calcutta. 

Two days later, she had the support and care she needed.

There are other times, when I have held the hand of a patient - a stranger to me till a day or two ago - as he is wheeled into the operation theatre. 

In our silence, only I can tell him, 'I have been there. So can you!

I have my own ways, when I have to recharge my voice. I am not talking about the mechanical one :)

A Jain by religion, I see the universality of divine love. I sit down to meditate and I feel plugged into the divine sound of Lord Krishna's flute. 

Thus, I am recharged. To keep moving ahead with joy and helping others when I can, where I can.

At 71, I am celebrating my 26th year with a unique voice. It is too early to retire!