Round peg in a square hole - is a feature, not a bug

Stories of Role Models

My story is a celebration of being mostly always being a square peg in a round hole - and learning to see it as a feature instead of a bug.

I grew up in Delhi - a studious Madrasi kid - who fitted in on the periphery. After 12 years of childhood in the north, prompted by my father’s transfer, we moved to the rural south in Tamil Nadu.

Amazingly, I was on the periphery again! I was now a Tamilian, who spoke Hindi well, but not Tamil. When I moved from the rural hinterland to Chennai later, I had become the country bumpkin.

On to BITS Pilani for engineering, where those from the north welcomed me as their outlier cousin from down south. Then to Arizona,USA for my Masters to represent Desis at their minority best.

Through these outlier experiences,, I was beginning to realise that “not fitting in” is actually my native strength. That was definitely the positive way of looking at it. But then I realised it is also the practical way of looking at it.

When I am an almost-outsider, it is easy to think of myself as missing something that others have, but I don’t. Yet, in reality, I am often the one with the fresh view. 

I am the one with new ideas. The one for who, things have not always been done in exactly this way. How can that be a bug?

It is a feature! The value that I bring to the table. After I realized that, things changed.

In 2006, I moved to the UK to be a product manager. Over the next few years, I would try out new domains, jobs, and roles several times. I eventually returned to India to connect more with my roots, and continued this journey.

During all this time, I learnt one more valuable lesson.

Disproportionately high returns come to those in the top 1% of their profession. You only have to look at sports to know how true that is, where the winner does indeed take all.

By definition, this privilege is denied to the rest 99% of us. 

There is a method around this, which Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) calls it Skill Stacking.

If you take 2 separate skills and make yourself in the top 25% of both those, you automatically land in the top 6% for those who need a combination of those two skills (0.25 X 0.25 = 0.0625)

So, I made this work for me.

When I wanted to move to a new domain, I looked at the cusp of what I was already good at. These were my transferable skills. I tried to combine it with what I wanted to do and become better at.

Thus, I moved from marketing to sales. From sales to HR. Within HR, I focused on learning and development. Always combining a prior strength with the current aspiration and looking for intersection opportunities.

It was a satisfying period all along because I was making decisions based on my strengths. I was intentional about what I was bringing to the table. I realised that no change happens from a place of weakness.

When I wanted to become a coach, I made a list of things that make a good coach. For this, I sought feedback; I researched. Then I paused and reflected, ‘What do I bring by way of transferable skills to this mix?’

Then, I put them to use. I did not beat myself down on what I did not already have. 

PS: I just received PCC ICF certification for a coach! Read more about it here, if curious.