The future of work - Chardi Kala

Stories of Role Models

I was born in Amritsar to loving parents. I grew up with my set of opportunities and challenges.

My brother had more freedom. I had more restrictions. 

‘Why don’t you become a teacher, it’s easier for girls if they become a teacher or a doctor?’, ‘If you keep on studying and become over-qualified, how will we find a match for you?’

In my secret moments, I wondered if I was at a disadvantage being born a girl.

In reality, it strengthened my resolve to seek financial independence. I felt this would let me break free.

I did not like Physics one bit. So that ruled out being an engineer or a doctor. Instead, I decided to be a CA.

No one in our family was a CA. People said, ‘It takes 10 years to become a CA – Forget old, one can be dead, it takes that much time.’ 

I stuck to my guns. Opposition egged me on. I worked hard. My family supported me through my crazy study and training schedule.

I became a rank holder CA in 4 ½ years. Everyone in the family was super proud of me after that.

After this, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, and my parents did not stop me. 

They wholeheartedly trusted me to live independently, aligned to go along with an arranged match, and started looking for a groom.

Things don’t always pan out as planned. They took a few years to find my partner. I accepted things as they were. 

Instead, I used the time to self-improve. I also picked up a reading habit. 

Self improvement and Leadership are my favourite book genres. Even today, at any one time, I am wading through at least 4 books. Bookshop stores love me!

Professionally, I continued to do well. Soon, I had my own team. Then my own teams.

Earlier, being a woman had been a setback of sorts. Now it had its gifts. 

Empathy comes easily to me. I can read a situation as soon as I enter the board-room. I suspect many other sisters can do the same :)

As a CA, I work with numbers, and as an empathetic person relating to others is easy. Two ends of a spectrum - yet this is now my differentiating professional signature.

I believe that, fundamentally, all people are good

When I see inequity against women in the workplace, I do not try to fix it by reprimand. Instead, I explore it by possibility.

A report of mine did not want to hire a woman candidate. He had an apprehension that she will not be able to keep long hours. I had met the candidate too, and she seemed promising. 

I did not steamroll my subordinate. Instead, I asked him to consider her on merit and explore his apprehensions with her. He did so. 

We ended up hiring her. It turned out to be a great choice. The girl got promoted twice in rapid succession, based on her performance.

This is also my way of bringing more equality to the workplace.

When I see conflict, I reach out head-on to address it. Good people can have differences. Most can be resolved with respectful conversations.

Being self-aware has helped me forge stronger family relationships

Soon after marriage, I realised my mother-in-law is wired differently from me. 

When all people are good, how do I adjust?

I am a thinker. She is a doer. 

I started going out with her for errands and shopping. This gave us time to interact and understand each other. 

Instead of challenges, I found myself having a support system.

The combination of self-awareness and belief in goodness of all helped me to see the good in myself as well. 

Self love is the hardest

I was blessed with a son. I was so happy. 

Then he became unwell and had to be admitted to the ICU. 

I tripped on guilt. I blamed myself for not being a good enough mother because I had hired a nanny to help out instead of doing all the chores myself.

The pain cut in deeper than the intellectual clutter. It brought clarity to the fore. 

Once again, I accepted things as they were. Under it lay the burning resolve that I loved my son and would do whatever it takes to help him heal. He is now healed and I am very grateful. 

Chardi Kala

We Punjabis have this idea of Chardi Kala. I love it.

You don’t have to be an intellectual to understand it. It is a way of life. An attitude.

As a mental state, it is one part resilience, one part optimism and joy. 

One aspires to accept His will and yet continues to Act without giving up. 

I think it is the secret of how we Punjabis bounce back after setbacks. It was the secret of millions after India’s partition. 

Today it is my secret too.

I accept when I need to. I am grateful for what I have and what I don’t have. And I act on my dreams and my purpose. I do not duck difficulties. 

My acceptance empowers action, in whatever is possible. With optimism, much is always possible.

May you be in Chardi-Kala too, forever and always.